no land in sight

I have had one busy week. Packing, closing down my pending obligations, and trying to fit as much time in with family and friends that is humanly possible. I have not been entirely successful at the latter, however, that will change over the next few days. I am just about finished with my packing, and now I can begin to focus on the people that I cherish and love.

I have still been able to maintain my strict routine, despite all of the life changes I'm going through. Every morning I arise to make breakfast, watch the headlines, and then off to the gym for a couple of hours. As most of you know, I exercise at a retirement community, which has been such a wonderful experience for me. I chat with the old people while I bike, I "help them" with some of their weight lifting techniques (I think they want to have someone to talk with more than anything else), and afterwards us old guys go down and play volleyball or share war stories. The knowledge base that the elderly have is simply amazing! I gain such insight just by listening and laughing with them.

I first walked in to that gym thinking, "Okay, I'm the young guy here and I feel good being able to run circles around these crippled people". It's true, I can lift ten times as much, run eight miles faster, and do more crunches in one sitting then they'll do in the rest of their lives. But over the course of time, the opposite has occurred: I have learned from them. Crazy how that happens, isn't it? I thought I was better, only to be given a quick reminder of a valuable lesson.

I don't know if it's because I have California constantly on my mind, but all I can hear from God right now are lessons on trusting in Him. One of my favorite authors, Oswald Chambers, put it this way: When we have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not.

I never understood what he meant by that until the other day when I read through the passage of Christ walking on the water. Jesus was out there, through the chaos, through the storm, and with the disciples who had no land in sight. God was not working toward a particular finish; His end was the process. I realized that I must look past my obstacles in life and be able to see Christ walking on the waves, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. If I have a further end in view, I am not paying sufficient attention to the immediate present. It is the process, not the end which is glorifying to God.

Lord, I pray that I can focus on you, watching your calm eyes even though the waves of life are overpowering my little boat. I love you Father. I will depend on you and your power right now.

"And straightway He constrained His disciples to get into the ship, and to go to the other side..."
~Mark 6:45