cheating on your taxes

I belong to a group of believers, ages 18 to 25ish, who discuss relevant issues concerning Christians today. Topics such as racial profiling, homosexuality, and how to raise children frequently come up during our discussions.

This past Sunday evening, at our usual time and place, we dove into the topic of labeling others who are different than ourselves and if doing so was right or wrong. Examples included the nerd who labels anyone on the football team as a jock, etc. We weren't able to come to any concrete conclusions because many people said that on one hand, "it is wrong to label anyone despite your intentions", while on the other "if you have good intentions when labeling someone it's okay".

What is the difference between using "nerd" as a label, or telling someone that they are a "liar". Not much difference at all. In both examples someone's character, who they are, has been branded with a label.

This brings me to my point. There is a huge difference between Discipline & Judgment. As Christians, we are instructed to confront others concerning sins we have observed, but we are not allowed to judge their character (Matt 7:1, Rom 14:13). Disciplining is our responsibility; judging character is God's responsibility.

For example, imagine that you just caught your child telling a lie. "You're a liar," you say to him. That's judgment, an attack on his character. But if you say, "Son, you just told a lie," that's discipline. You're holding him accountable based on an observed behavior.

Or let's say that a Christian friend admits to you that he cheated on his income tax return. If you confront him as a thief you are judging his character, and that's not your responsibility. You can only confront him on the basis of what you see: "By cheating on your taxes you are stealing from the government, and that's wrong."

Much of what we call discipline is nothing less than character assassination. We say to our disobedient child: "You're a bad boy." We say to a failing Christian brother or sister: "You're not a good Christian." Such statements don't correct or edify; they tear down character and convey disapproval for the person as well as his problem. Your child is not a liar; he's a child of God who has told a lie. Your Christian friend is not a thief; he's a child of God who has taken something which doesn't belong to him. And your Christian classmate is not a nerd, he's a saint in God's kingdom.

We must hold people accountable for their behavior, but we are never allowed to denigrate their character.

"Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness."
~Galatians 6:1